Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
