Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is Oprah even human
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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