Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
