Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
