The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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