I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
this is an emotional support booty call
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
