He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
