So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
