is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
