Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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