I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
