There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
