I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
