He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
