It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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