Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
