maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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