We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
