im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
