omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He felt like a one man threesome
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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