My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
