I cockslap morals
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
