I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
