listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
