David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
