A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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