check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
