Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
