Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
