I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
