But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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