Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
