Dual....:-)
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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