he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
