Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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