i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
