oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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