Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
