Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
