I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
