But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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