so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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