p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
