He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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