You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
