Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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