When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
