So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
