But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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