its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
